I couldn't make this shit up.

If you have any Fails you'd like me to publish, email them to ittybittycrazy@gmail.com.

Cellphone Provider FAIL

Hello,

My name is XXXX XXXXX and I work at the [Cellphone Network Provider] and I was reviewing your account and noticed you are on the [My Former Employer's Old Company Plan] instead of the [My Former Employer's New Company Plan]. 

The feature you currently have is $XX normal price and ends up being $XX after your new XX% company discount every month. 

The plan you are on now, however, does not get all the discounts the [My Former Employer's New Company Plan] does and you end up paying more for your current plan. 

The [My Former Employer's New Company Plan] is normally $XX, but you also receive a $XX credit in addition to the new XX% off, netting the final price per month to $XX, as detailed on [Internal Company Website].

I also noticed you are on a $XX month messaging plan which includes 2500 messages.  Another part of the new discounts is a unlimited messaging plan for $XX.  This is usually a $XX feature, but with the new discounts, you will receive a $XX credit monthly, netting the price to $XX.  You pay less and get more!

If you would like me to correct this, please email me back or contact me at the number below, and I can change your data feature to the lower priced one. 

Please let me know if you have any other questions or concerns. 

Thank you for your business!

[Name] 

[Contact Details]

_________________________________

Dear [Name Withheld],

Thank you for following up on my cellphone discount plan.

1. I was let go by [My Former Employer] in the restructuring on [Date which is a VERY long time ago]
2. I now have a [different kind of cellphone]
3. my new data deal for [different kind of cellphone] is less than the [My Former Employer] data plan.

I still like [My Former Employer] and I want to be proud of the company.   

And I think the partnering with [Cellphone Network Provider] is great. 

But mistakes like this don’t help you guys in the PR department. 

I suggest partnering with [My Former Employer's] HR to get current employee data, or at least checking the internal email address (to see if they still exist) before contacting any further customers.

With kind regards,

[Me]